We recently interviewed Rick and Christine Jacobs for a podcast on fostering, go here to listen https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christianfamilylife/episodes/Reproducing-A-Godly-Heritage-Through-FosteringAdopting-e2kk5hh. Rick and Christine have been married for 31 years. They have 3 biological children, adopted 3 and in the process of adopting another. They began fostering in 2007. Rick was a pastor and through this journey he resigned and now is employed by an organization called 4Kids of SWFL (Southwest Florida). Their vision is to “redefine foster care in our region…..one life at a time.”
They both shared that fostering has helped them to constantly focus on selflessly serving one another within their marriage. Each has made allowances for self-care when needed, giving keen awareness to make time for one another on a consistent basis.
In any marriage, selflessness is key. However, when you add a stressor into a marriage like fostering, if only one person is sacrificing, it will be hard to maintain a healthy relationship. Self-care allows one of you to pull away occasionally for respite, while consistent date nights and getaways have always helped their marriage stay vitalized and allowed for fostering longevity.
The following blog was authored by Rick Jacobs.
INCREASING AWARENESS
A lot of people don’t realize that foster care is an issue where they live. In Southwest Florida, over 500 children were removed from their families (due to abuse, abandonment or neglect) and placed into foster care. On any given day in our region, there’s a shortage of foster homes. Typically, that shortage is around 15. That’s a solvable problem! With just 15 more homes in our area, we would keep children from sleeping in caseworkers’ offices, being placed in shelters or group homes and allow them to be placed in their own community, as opposed to being moved to other parts of the state, where foster homes are available.
OVERCOMING COMMON FOSTER CARE MYTHS
Regularly, we hear people give their reasons and/or fears for not stepping up to become foster parents. Oftentimes, those reasons or fears are rooted in myths surrounding foster care. Here are some of the most common…
Foster Care Myth # 1 – You can’t be single. FALSE
Foster Parents can be single or married.
Foster Care Myth #2 – You can’t work full time. FALSE
Many foster parents work outside the home. There is even daycare assistance available.
Foster Care Myth #3 – I’m too old. FALSE
The only age requirement is that you must be over the age of 21. There are many foster parents in their 50’s and 60’s, even 70’s.
Foster Care Myth #4 – You must already be a parent. FALSE
Many foster parents do not have children of their own.
Foster Care Myth #5 – You need to own a home. FALSE
Foster parents only need stable housing; they can either own or rent. You only need adequate bedroom space for the children, and every child must have their own bed.
Foster Care Myth #6 – Foster children can’t do normal things. FALSE
Foster parents can make decisions related to vacations, baby sitters, playing sports, allowing teens to work part-time or get a driver’s license, for example.
Foster Care Myth #7 – I could never go on vacation. FALSE
Foster parents have a few options when it comes to vacation. For family vacations, foster children often travel with you, allowing them to feel included and part of the family. Foster parents also have ten respite nights per year available to them. Respite is when another licensed foster family cares for your foster child while you’re away. There are also some instances where your foster child can stay with a trusted friend, family member or babysitter, if only gone for a couple of nights.
Foster Care Myth #8- I can’t foster, I would get too attached. FALSE
We’re looking for foster parents that will get attached; that’s what every child needs, especially those that are displaced from their family. Instead of letting the fear of getting too attached deter us, we should actually let the fear of these kids never feeling truly attached to someone, drive us.
Foster Care Myth #9- I can’t afford to be a foster parent. FALSE
It’s true, raising a child takes resources. However, foster parents are given a monthly stipend to help with everyday items: food, personal hygiene products, allowance, clothing and other expenses related to raising a child. Additionally, foster parents do not pay for medical expenses. All foster children are covered by Medicaid for medical, dental, and mental health care needs.
Foster Care Myth #10- I could never give them back. FALSE
This is one of the tougher ones. If you’re already a parent of children, even those kids are not your own. As believers, God entrusts us to raise children. Ultimately, they are His. We are only stewards as parents, whatever capacity we’re in, biological, adopted, foster, etc.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
Foster – if you’re interested in learning more, we’d love to begin the conversation and answer any questions you might have. Okay, we know you’ve got plenty! 😊
Serve – there are several ways to serve. You can serve at one of our foster family events as a volunteer or you can help coordinate a FAM Team, a team that serves a foster family in your area by helping bring them a meal, dropping by some diapers, or providing the family with a date night.
Give – as a new ministry in Southwest Florida, beyond our need for more foster families, this is another area of great need. We are grateful for every person, church, business, etc. that partners with us financially. Generosity will help us find a home for every child.
Pray – last, but certainly not least! Please pray for God to raise up families, volunteers and donors. Additionally, please pray for the families that are already fostering children, that God will allow those children to experience healing and love during their stay with their foster family.
For those outside of the Southwest Florida area you may log into www.cafo.org to find Christian foster opportunities in your area.
4KIDS OF SWFL: WHO WE ARE
At 4KIDS of Southwest Florida, we’re striving to redefine foster care in our region. Ultimately, we desire for every abused, abandoned or neglected child that enters the foster care system, to be placed in a loving, Christian home.
We recruit, train and license foster families. Once an individual or family is licensed, we help place foster children in their home and provide second-to-none support so they’re confident and well-equipped for the calling they’ve embraced..
WHAT WE DO
Our paradigm for ministry is: Hope, Homes and Healing.
Hope is our prevention initiative. We are the Implementing Partner for CarePortal in Southwest Florida. CarePortal partners with local child welfare agencies to identify needs and then connects local churches to those families in need so the churches can meet those needs and minister to the families. This year, we’re on track to serve 300+ children in our region. There are crucial needs being met. This often allows families to remain intact, as opposed to removing children and placing them into foster care.
Homes are the most obvious. Once more, we are striving to provide a loving, Christian home for every child that enters foster care. We’d love to think that our prevention initiative could touch every family in crisis, but as long as we’re living in this fallen world, there will always be children and families in crisis. When children must be removed, we want the Church to be there. Ready to step in and provide a safe place for that child to stay, and one that will share the love and hope of Jesus while they’re with them.
Healing is the third initiative in our paradigm. We have licensed therapists on our team, ready to serve children and families with a biblically-based, trauma-informed therapy, known as EPIC. EPIC is a well-rounded approach that focuses on the Emotional, Physical, Intellectual and Character-based needs of the child. The principles and encouragement provided through our EPIC therapists not only help the kids experience healing, but also help equip the foster parents to navigate the unique needs of the child(ren) in their care.
www.4KIDSswfl.org
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress. -James 1:27a
