Gio Llerena
Our Experience
Suzy and I married on July 16, 1994 at the ages of 21 and 22. Our first child was born on Aug 15, 1995 and sixteen months later our second child arrived. Talk about a whirlwind of two years. We were just kids ourselves responsible for two under two and didn’t even fully know each other!!
At the time we did not have a clue how to raise children, nor how to navigate our new marriage. We quickly found ourselves seeking help from the Lord. Help not only on how to raise our children but also how to strengthen our marriage.
Our Marriage
The more we got into God’s Word the more we began to understand. We realized that our best parenting was going to come out of the strength of our marriage. We weren’t able to offer anything to our children without first and foremost allowing the Holy Spirit to refine us individually. Strengthening our relationship with Him and then with each other.
The Lord led us many years ago to a set of verses that revealed so much to us:
God’s Wisdom
Deuteronomy 6:4-9, “4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Our Relationship
What we noticed first was found in verses four through six. The text was addressing the parents and what their relationship with the Lord should look like. We, as parents, are to love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, soul, and strength. These commands are to be on our heart.
We found through parenting that the fruits of the Spirit were going to be tested everyday (Galations 5:22). It’s almost as if our children were being used by God to help refine us more into His image. The daily challenges of raising a family proved to be more than we could handle on our own. Lack of rest, teaching obedience, taking care of basic needs (the kids and ours), and so much more tested our flesh! We quickly realized, if we were not in step with the Holy Spirit we were going mess up and not operate in a healthy manner. At this point, we were definitely unable to model and teach the fruit of the Spirit.
We began to believe our greatest gift to our children was to provide them with parents that wanted to love God and love each other. That would give us the opportunity to share what God was doing in our hearts and in our lives with our children.
What We Teach
Verses 7-9 of Deuteronomy 6 tells us to Impress those things we have learned and are convicted about on our children. Take daily opportunities to have spiritual conversations with them. At home, in the car to and from school or practice. Make them known around your house and wherever you go. In other words, we as parents become an overflow of the work God is doing in our hearts. The first recipient of this is our very own children.
Our Reflection
So today, thirty years later as we look back, we look with fondness as to what the Lord did in our marriage and in our family. We don’t take credit for anything but are super thankful that the Lord revealed these truths to us many years ago. Today we have three adult children and crazy enough, even though we are not “parenting” them with methods we used when they were little, we still have spiritual conversations with them and now also with our son and daughter in law as well. Soon with our granddaughter Sophie!
So if we were to give any advice in this area we would challenge you to take to heart Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Strengthen your relationship with Jesus, and with your spouse. What you learn from Him and as you share with each other, extend it to your children. This is the best gift you can give them.
Parenting is a refinement process that produces the best gift for your children.
For more information on this topic, listen to our podcast on the same subject.https://open.spotify.com/episode/663ZsMXDe3xKn22xmvHFnQ
