Shelly Foshee
The World’s View
The world/enemy takes the truth of God’s word and slightly twists it. Leaving just enough truth to lure you in, yet tainting it with sin, making it all a lie. Submission from a wife's point of view has been defined as “being a doormat”, “having no voice” by the world’s standards. From a worldly husband’s perspective the man can dominate, reign over his wife. Always getting what he wants with no questions asked.
For years thinking each of us was right, digging our heels in the sand and refusing to even be open minded to another opinion was the way our marriage functioned (barely). We both were selfish and very competitive. Determined that we were the “right one” arguments were often had.
God’s Design
God’s original purpose for marriage is found in Genesis 1 and 2. We learn in these verses that God made both male and female in His image. Reading in chapter 1, verse 28 that God blessed THEM and commanded THEM to be fruitful and multiply. To fill the earth and subdue it. To have dominion over the earth and all living things in it. God wanted both Adam and Eve to do these things. Both Adam and Eve had equal value and responsibility.
After chapter 3 when sin enters the picture, God tells THEM to also reign in spiritual warfare. To fight the good fight together. There are times when a decision needs to be made that we just cannot quite agree on. At this point someone has to have the responsibility of making the final call. That responsibility falls on the husband (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22,24, I Peter 3:1).This is when submission comes into play. Remember, submission does not take place until we disagree with each other.
Submitting to Each Other
God intended for both husband and wife to reign and submit to each other. This is what we call equal submission. When my husband speaks on this subject he will say that if he feels led in a direction and I am not sensing that at all, he will put the brakes on. Press pause, and we pursue God together on the matter.
We both respect each other and our individual walks with the Lord. I believe my husband hears from the Lord, and he believes that I also hear from the Lord. So when we are not thinking in sync with each other, we slow down and get still before God. We pray and ask God for clarity and direction. We will stay here until we can come into agreement. If there is a timeline that must be met, this is where we lean into what the husband is believing to be the direction God is leading us.
This really can be a beautiful thing. It can be a time where couples draw closer together. When we work as the team that God intends us to be, there is no yelling. There is no “my way or the highway”. We both equally submit to God and to each other. If the decision has to be made and I am not agreeing with what my husband feels, I am learning to trust God. God is sovereign and will protect me. My act of obedience and faith in Him is to submit.
God’s Ordered Design
God places this orderedness within marriages to protect all parties. Since we know that we will not always agree about everything, we should understand that the ultimate responsibility has to be given to someone. At work, this is our boss. On a team, this is our coach. At church, this is the pastor. On committees, this is the overseer of the organization. For there to be order, the assignment must be made and God gave that responsibility to husbands.
I personally am thankful for my place. I must answer to my husband, whom I can see and hear in the flesh. As husbands, they directly answer to God for this responsibility. I am grateful God made me a wife!
Your Story
Many times when I write these blogs, I struggle knowing that for differing circumstances, your story is not like mine. For some, this will come in time. A time of maturing, growing and being sanctified by God’s redeeming love, grace and mercy. For others, they may be unequally yoked. For you, I want you to know that God sees you. That He is with you and will never leave you. God is a man of His word. I am praying for you. (If you knew me personally, you would know that those are not just words. I do pray for you). I pray that each of us will be able to experience the fullness of what God has for us in our marriages and in our lives.
