Christian Family Life Blog
How Do I Change My Spouse?
Gray Foshee My wife, Shelly, and I just celebrated 41 years of marriage last week. In the first 7-8 years we both worked diligently on trying to change each other. It was exhausting with no success or benefits to our respective efforts. There were so many things we...
Family Traditions
Melissa Moore One of my favorite childhood memories is my family decorating our Christmas tree every year. We would listen to specific Christmas music and have a table full of delicious holiday snacks and drinks. We would open all the Christmas boxes and ooh and ahh...
Parenting From Personal Experience
Gio Llerena Our Experience Suzy and I married on July 16, 1994 at the ages of 21 and 22. Our first child was born on Aug 15, 1995 and sixteen months later our second child arrived. Talk about a whirlwind of two years. We were just kids ourselves...
What You See Is Not What It Was
Shelly Foshee Being married for over 40 years and spending over 30 years intentionally prioritizing each other, studying God’s word concerning marriage, reading Christian books and attending Christian marriage retreats, our marriage is not perfect, but it is happy,...
A Wife’s Take on Submission
Shelly Foshee The World’s View The world/enemy takes the truth of God’s word and slightly twists it. Leaving just enough truth to lure you in, yet tainting it with sin, making it all a lie. Submission from a wife's point of view has been defined as “being a doormat”,...
Starting a Fight: Conversations that Fight for Your Marriage
Authored by: Jamie Beeson; Business and Life Coach “We need to talk” I don’t know about you, but hearing those words elevates my body temperature and accelerates my heart rate. I tend to jump to conclusions and leap to some pretty strong assumptions when someone wants...
Finding Identity in the Midst of Shame
Raul Gonzalez Shame, as defined by therapist Chip Dodd in his enlightening book "The Voice of the Heart," profoundly impacts not only individuals but also their relationships, particularly within marriage. It's more than just a fleeting emotion; it's a deep-seated...
Managing Grief
1 Peter 4:12 says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” There are many circumstances that fall under the term “fiery trial”. Let’s talk about the fiery...
Facing Divorce
Melanie Geenen Redemption and restoration are available to every marriage. The old saying, “it takes two”, is true. Each person must be willing to put in the hard work to stay in the fight, no matter how difficult. But when one spouse chooses to go another way, apart...
Foster Care
We recently interviewed Rick and Christine Jacobs for a podcast on fostering, go here to listen https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christianfamilylife/episodes/Reproducing-A-Godly-Heritage-Through-FosteringAdopting-e2kk5hh. Rick and Christine have been married...
The Power of a Story: Will You Share Yours?
Roland Martinez We’ve all heard the saying, “Your story matters!” It’s true. Every day Tammy and I are inspired in our own life, marriage, and family by the stories people share with us. Our current podcast and blog focus has been on fostering and adoption. We...
Beau’s Story
I’ve got a dream For the longest time I had a nightly dream of a little boy sitting in a stroller. I couldn’t see his face, but I could see his dark hair. Everyone in the dream was calling him “Beau.” This recurrence led to Chris and I having a serious conversation...
Making Disciples
In our curriculum “Two Becoming One” the three purposes of marriage are taught. #1. Reflect His image on earth. #2. Reproduce a Godly heritage. #3. Reign in spiritual warfare. In today’s blog, we are going to discuss the second purpose, reproducing a Godly heritage....
Four Pillars of Intimacy
Gio Llerena When it comes to intimacy within a marriage, most people think of just physical intimacy. Our culture has really conditioned us to think this way through social media, movies, books, etc. It has missed a huge part of a holistic approach towards intimacy. ...
The Impact of a Healthy Marriage on Fostering and Adoption
Roland Martinez Deciding to foster or adopt is no small decision. When a couple makes the decision to foster or adopt it is made as a lifelong commitment that will bring great fulfillment to that family. However, like any worthwhile endeavor there will be challenges...
Finding JOY in your Marriage
Roland Martinez What is Joy? Joy as defined by Merriam Webster online, “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: Delight.” What emotions are evoked in you when you think about your marriage? If...
Endurance in Marriage
Gray Foshee Understanding Endurance “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into...
Building Collaborative Relationships
Dr. Amy Trout Building and maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging. It can be helpful to focus on the three essential components of any relationship: The Self, The Other, and The We. By understanding and nurturing these aspects, you can contribute towards...
Hurry Up and Wait
Gray Foshee A Society of Instant Gratification Speed date. Eat fast food. Use the self-checkout lines in grocery stores. "One weekend" diet. Pay extra for overnight shipping. Honk when the light turns green. Speak in half sentences. Start things but don't finish...
Did I Marry The Right Person?
Shelly Foshee One of the greatest struggles I had early on in my marriage was questioning myself about missing the mark. Did I marry the wrong person? When Gray and I got married, we were pregnant. We came from a pretty legalistic upbringing. The situation we found...
Fully Truth & Grace
Gray Foshee Timothy Keller says, “Truth without grace is not really truth and grace without truth is not really grace”. Let that sink in for a moment. John 1:14-17 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from...
Freedom Of Acceptance
Shelly Foshee Recently we attended a wedding. Part of the vows repeated were “I promise to do my best to love and accept you exactly as you are”. At first my thought was, “we never want to stay the same. We always want to grow and become more like Christ.” But...
Who Am I?
Gio Llerena Nicknames I’ve always been interested in where nicknames come from. From what I can tell, they often are a result of something you have done, or an event that identifies you. Our family enjoys sports and so naturally I’m drawn to the nicknames given...
Shame
Shelly Foshee Genesis 2 The last words of Genesis 2 reads, "the man and his wife were both naked and unashamed." When this is read, it should be interpreted as the man and wife living, abiding in, complete freedom. This word naked in the Hebrew means "to be exposed"....
Unforgiveness, the Paralyzing Choice
Gray Foshee What hinders our relationship with God? Matthew 6:14-15 says “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you”. It is impossible...
Baseline: Is Your Marriage Normal?
Roland Martinez Is your marriage normal? What defines normal and what authority or assessment gets to determine what a great marriage is? Marriage is a journey filled with thrilling moments and times of utter despair. Therefore, it’s important to look outside of...
Take Out The Trash!
Shelly Foshee In March of 2023, my husband (Gray) and I (Shelly) attended a marriage retreat. Yes, marriage missionaries attend retreats and conferences. Every marriage needs to be investing into the gift God has given them in each other. We watched God move...
Having Difficult Conversations!
Gio Llerena Conversations There are so many different conversations that Suzy and I engage in everyday. For the most part they are easy. They are focused on pleasantries and tasks to be accomplished. But every so often, there are conversations that need to be leaned...
How to Grow a Thriving Marriage
Marissa Pierce Intro With the dreary winter days giving way to the warm, sunny days of spring, finalizing garden plans has begun. For the first few years of our marriage, we lived in an apartment. When we moved into a home with a backyard last year, the years worth...
“I Want to Hold your Hand”
Will and Cindy Goff Our Song The year was 1963, “Beatlemania” was all the rage in pop culture. (Not unlike what we are observing today with Taylor Swift’s following of Swifties!) Will and I were in high school as the Beatles stormed America. It was predictable that...
Marriage Through the Decades
Love endures while lessons are learned Marriage continues to be the cornerstone of our culture and society. No matter what attacks the enemy devises to steal, kill, and ultimately attempt to destroy God’s original design. God’s plan of redemption is always in play. ...
Telling My Story with Theirs
Roland and Tammy MartinezBrandon and Lauren Piner Our Story I (Tammy) knew the Lord had called me into ministry. Having no idea what that was going to look like, I knew I wanted to go to a Christian college and major in Elementary Education to one day work in a...
Always and Forever
Our Times We grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. This placed us in the era of roe vs. wade. Michael Jackson and Diana Ross were center stage in the music realm. Cell phones came out in the mid 80’s, forever changing the way we communicate. What I remember most as I look...
Gotta Get You Into My Life
Our Story: Ian and Nickie Connell, married 25 years 10/16/24 Our Times Ian and I are both in our 70’s. When we were just entering adulthood, the Vietnam war had just ended, and everyone was searching for peace. This was the time that Woodstock made history. Sex,...
Got Questions?
Recently we did a marriage conference with a ministry and we ended the evening with a Q&A session. We had asked the couples at the beginning of the day to be thinking about questions they might have regarding marriage. Anything was on the table. Ask it and we’ll...
Healthy Tensions
My husband (Gray) and I (Shelly) have been married for 40 years now and I can almost promise you that at some point today we will have a disagreement. Sometimes these disagreements are resolved within minutes with just a small amount of effort. Other times the...
Pressing Reset in Your Marriage: A Journey to Renewal
This week's podcast featured a discussion on the valuable practice of pressing reset in your marriage. We’ve all had the unfortunate experience of the technology we rely on not functioning properly. Our anxiety level grows only to find that all it needed was a reset....
Christ-Centered #CoupleGoals
Aligning Your Journey with God’s Purpose for Marriage Social Media has a way of inspiring us to do and try things we didn't think were possible. We type in the search bar and scour Pinterest, TikTok, or Instagram for new and creative ideas. One of the trends involves...
The Gift of Generosity
The gift of generosity is just that … a gift - the giving of something notable without compensation. There has been no greater demonstration of the gift of generosity than when God sent His son Jesus to this earth. When we think of generosity in the context of...
Navigating FAITH Love
How to recognize toxicity and move towards connection in marriage Moving from a performance-based relationship to one that is FAITH-based will ensure the oneness in marriage every person longs to have. However, any concept, when taken to the extreme or misinterpreted,...
Love Came Down to Earth, Are You Ready to Receive It?
LOVE CAME DOWN AT CHRISTMAS Christina Georgina Rossetti Love came down at Christmas,Love all lovely, love divine;Love was born at Christmas,Star and angels gave the sign.Worship we the Godhead,Love incarnate, love divine;Worship we our Jesus:But wherewith for sacred...
Are You Loving Your Spouse by Performance or Faith?
Just about everything in our culture is designed to be evaluated through the lens of performance, whether good or bad. Growing up you felt validated if you had a good game and played well, or you brought home a test with an A+ on it, or you were selected to be...
Leaving an Unforgettable Mark
The world today runs at breakneck speeds. The demands on every aspect of our lives can exhaust us. This weariness can lead to a feeling of emptiness and ingratitude that spirals in such a way that our overall well-being is compromised. However, gratitude can make a...
Water Your Own Garden
When Ryan and I were newly engaged, I remember being so excited to be married and swooning over my new and shiny ring that I couldn't help but stare at it all the time. I guess it was obvious, because many people were kind and noticed my ring (or possibly me staring...
What Are You Thinking?
Have you ever thought about something long enough that it basically became true to you? Have you ever thought that you told your spouse something, only because you had thought about it so much? Then defended yourself, standing firm on what you believed in that moment,...
Thankfulness For Your Spouse
Expression of Thankfulness Charles Schwab said “The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.” I (Shelly) believe that most of us are thankful for our spouses. What I would wonder is how many of us tell our spouse the thoughts...
Boundaries in Friendships
This blog brought to you by Zach and Abi Schneider, friends of our ministry. The privilege of having people in your life that lift you up, cheer you on, and walk through life with you is a true gift from the Lord. But how do you maintain close friendships while you...
Boundaries with Children
My (Suzy) husband (Gio) went to a camp growing up called Circle C Youth Ranch. The logo was that of a circle with a “C” in the center of it. He said he never really gave it much thought until years later. The “C” stood for Christ and He was to be the center of our...
Boundaries With Work
Have you ever struggled with finding workplace boundaries? Have there been times in your life when your job has consumed you? If you are like me and many others, the answer is a resounding “YES”. I would like to share with you some important nuggets of truth that...
Considering Boundaries with the In-laws While Cultivating a Healthy Relationship
The relationship with your in-laws can be a source of great joy, but sometimes it creates an overwhelming burden on your marriage. What should be love, support and great shared experiences together, can sometimes push the boundaries of smothering or indifference. No...
Setting Healthy Boundaries: Nurturing Relationships
Setting boundaries in your life is essential for cultivating healthy relationships, but it doesn't mean shutting people out. In this article, we'll explore what boundaries are, why they are necessary, and how to approach them to foster healthy connections. Let's delve...
Wrestling Hurricanes
We were given permission from Tiffany Haines, the author of “Wrestling Hurricanes” to use this word-for-word excerpt from chapter 6 of her book. Tiffany and her husband Brad, joined us for an informative podcast for us on this subject. Be sure to check it out here! If...
Making Marriage Vibrant: An Empty Nest Perspective – Part Two
This blog is written by friends of the ministry, Will and Cindy Goff. In our previous blog, we acknowledged that navigating a new life as empty nesters requires intentionality - choices. When the children are off on their own, a couple will experience a new rhythm of...
Making Marriage Vibrant: An Empty Nest Perspective
This blog is written by friends of the ministry, Will and Cindy Goff. Reflecting on how to keep a marriage vibrant after the kids are gone has the benefit of time, since we have been empty nesters for 20 years! We’re older in years, but not in our hearts. As we...
Establishing a Right Foundation in Your Marriage!
This blog is written by friends of the ministry, Daniel and Rachel Llerena. When Rachel and I (Daniel) started dating, the talks of marriage were very serious. Marriage was always the goal of dating for both of us so early on we could have foundational conversations...
Building the Foundation for a Purposeful Marriage
This blog is written by friends of the ministry, Abi and Zach Schneider. When Abi and I first decided to start dating, we were very clear on our intentions of the relationship. We knew that we were falling in love with one another. And we had clarity that there...
Goal Setting
Several years ago, my husband (Gray), read an article that had shared research on the importance of writing your goals down. This specific study was on college graduations and their life goals. I cannot honestly remember the percentage (I believe it is in the 90%...
How to Bring Money & Marriage Together
After years of working with pro athletes I’ve learned a thing or two about money and its effect on our behavior. These lessons apply to all of us. 1) Money has power because it promises what it cannot deliver. Meaning, money tends to let us down – no purchase or...
The Case for God in Our Money
This blog about money is brought to you by a friend of the ministry, Connor Lowery, CFP®, CPA, CWS®, Financial Advisor, Professional Athlete Division, Ronald Blue Trust. When you hear or read the word “money”, emotions rush to the surface. I encourage you to take a...
Milestones
Milestones. What are they? The first definition of milestone that I found is “a stone set up beside a road to mark the distance of miles to a particular place”. In a sense, we set up stones to reach personal destinations. We set goals for our families, goals for our...
Trails and Trials
This blog brought to you by Paul and Tara Dye, friends of our ministry. My husband and I love to hike. We enjoy taking in the great outdoors with all of our senses. Seeing the trees and flowers all around. Feeling the solid earth beneath our feet. Smelling the scents...
Trials: The Fragrant Joy of Suffering
This blog brought to you by Zach and Abi Schneider, friends of our ministry. Trials are more than just tough, they can be suffocating. And then doubts run through your mind. “I can’t be strong enough to handle this. God wouldn’t do this to me. What if I never make it...
Communication: A Journey Toward Intimacy
Hello, Will and Cindy Goff, friends of CFL here! Initial disclaimer for those reading this blog - the information shared has not always been adhered to in our marriage! For many years, we did not follow God’s plan. We were not believers…we were two individuals living...
The Power of our Words
Have you considered the weight and power of your words? Especially as it relates to your spouse. Remember the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.” How about, “Think before you speak.” This one might be a favorite, “Better to be...
Our Communication Story: Gray and Shelly Foshee
My husband and I will have been married for 40 years in just a few months. We were very young and immature in more ways than one! For the first 7 or 8 years we would fight like cats and dogs. It did not matter where we were or who we were around, we would fight...
From Conflict to Intimacy
Communication is a tool that can either divide or bring a couple closer. As couples, many times everyone else receives the best parts of us and we give each other the leftovers. With each cross, critical, or hurtful communication we are making withdrawals from our...
Seven Ways to Love Your Spouse
5 Markers of a Healthy Relationship “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may...
Fully Known and Fully Loved
"Love is not blind; that is the last thing that it is. Love is bound; and the more it is bound the less it is blind." G.K. Chesterton We’ve all heard it, “Love is blind.” Is it really though? Should it be? While Tammy and I love each other, we are not blind to the...
The Power Source for Your Marriage
Have you ever attended a marriage conference, retreat, or seminar? Taking copious notes, you have every intention of applying every amazing insight you heard. You find yourself “in love” again and you experience a closeness you haven’t felt in a while. You hope to...
The Holy Spirit – Do You Really Know Him?
Have you considered the role the Holy Spirit plays in your life and marriage? Scripture teaches us that the Spirit indwells the life of those who have professed their faith in Jesus Christ. (I Cor 6:19-20) This is a great reminder that we must rely on the Holy...
Just Give Up
I don’t know about you, but I converse with myself daily. Oftentimes these conversations are me arguing with myself after conflict in my marriage. Take for example the other day. I was in the kitchen and Gio (my husband) walked in and said “How can I help you?” I had...
Seek the Lord Together
Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ...
How’s Your Prayer Life – Together?
Hopefully your response to that question isn’t “Here we go, and yet another thing we are not doing in our marriage.” Instead, let this question be a good reminder that taking time to pray together is a practice that strengthens your marriage. Let’s take a deep breath...
Did I Marry the Right Person? Our Story
Did I marry the right person? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Perhaps while you were dating you were so sure you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person. Then again, maybe you observed red flags and ignored them. It could be that you thought...
God Created a Love Story When He Brought Us Together
Everyone loves a good love story. Well, our love story started back in 1991 when Suzy and I (Gio) were students in college. It was a small college where pretty much everyone knew each other, but for some reason, Suzy and I had not met during my first semester there. I...
How to Reign in Spiritual Warfare in Your Marriage
“Jesus did not come just to forgive our sins and give us life; He came to undo the works of Satan (see 1 John 3:8).” - Neil T Anderson What was God’s Original Intent for Marriage? You can’t afford to miss God’s original intent for your relationship with Him and with...
Reproducing a Godly Heritage through Spiritual Children
18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything...
Reproducing a Godly Heritage Through Your Children
Suzy and I were 21 and 22 years old when we got married. Little did we know what God had planned for us over the next few years. After dating for three and a half years we felt we were ready to move forward with the commitment of marriage. We loved each other, we knew...
Why Did God Create Marriage? A glimpse at the Image of God
Why did God create marriage, and why get married? Would you and your spouse answer these questions the same way? These are important questions to discuss in your marriage relationship, and it’s critical that you and your spouse be headed in the same direction. The...
What Your Spouse Needs from You: One Thing
Have you ever picked up a magazine and read front page titles along the lines of, “10 Vital Things My Spouse Needs From Me”, “5 Actions You Can Take Today That Will Fulfill Your Spouse’s Needs”, “If You Satisfy These 3 Needs, You Will Have a Happy Wife/Husband”? This...
Muscle Up to Effective Communication
My (Roland) future son in law (engaged to my daughter Abi), Zach recently showed me a video of him doing a muscle up. What is a muscle up, you ask? Well, it’s a CrossFit exercise that is extremely difficult to accomplish. If I attempted a muscle up it would most...
Creating Healthy Boundaries with Your Parents
Did you come from a healthy home? A home where mom and dad loved you and truly invested blood, sweat, tears, and money into you as a child? Or did you come from a toxic home? A home that was somewhat distant emotionally and/or physically? Regardless of your...
It’s Time to Leave and Cleave
For some people change is hard, for others it’s what they love. Wherever you land on that statement, the reality is that when you get married, there will be changes. One big one is that it's time to leave and cleave. I don’t think you can adequately cover all the...
Who has what responsibilities around the house?
When Suzy and I (Gio) were dating and entering the DTR, “define the relationship”, zone, the last thing on our mind was what would be our responsibilities within the home. We were focused on finding out if we were compatible. Was there anything within our character...
Roles, Responsibilities, and Decision Making in Marriage: Part Two
There can be much debate in the evangelical world regarding the role of men and women; especially as it relates to marriage. Our goal in discussing roles, responsibilities, and decision making in the marriage relationship is not to create more doctrinal tension, but...
Roles, Responsibilities, and Decision Making in Marriage: Part 1
Over the next few blogs let’s bring some clarity to what many times can be a foggy issue in marriages. Are roles in marriage different for the husband and wife. Does that carry over into the responsibilities in marriage? Does one spouse ultimately have the last word...
Spiritual Intimacy by Faith
Suzy and I often say, “Marriage is the best thing we have done, and it is also the most difficult thing we have done.” And perhaps having and raising children comes in a close second!! The reason we believe it is difficult is because we are two sinful people coming...
Experiencing the Deepest Level of Intimacy
“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”Genesis 2:25 Our team was recently asked to speak at a marriage conference regarding the topic of spiritual intimacy in marriage. It prompted us to prioritize sharing a few things via the blog to...
Sex – Is it ok to say the word?
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”Hebrews 13:4 Here we go! Let’s talk about sex. It doesn’t have to be awkward, but let’s be honest, it can be very awkward. Sadly,...
Work through CONFLICT
Is conflict wreaking havoc in your marriage? Do you feel distant from your spouse and wonder if you’ll ever feel close again? Do you long for resolution to the points of contention in your marriage? True closeness and companionship can seem elusive, but let’s...
Exposing Unhealthy Conflict
The bedroom door shut behind him and Brian sat on the edge of the bed in the dark. Face in his hands he wondered, “This is not working anymore. How am I going to love Linda for the rest of our lives? I just hurt her so badly … so, so badly. What is wrong with me?”...
Embrace it! When conflict is good.
“Conflict is not merely inevitable it is necessary if one wants to grow both character and the depth of a marriage.”Dan Allender “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you except to be just, and to love [and to diligently practice]...
“We never argue!” – 9 Tips for Conflict Resolution in Marriage
Years ago, Tammy and I were leading a small group marriage study. This was the beginning of some changes in our own marriage and a desperate need for it to be strengthened. One particular meeting, we had finally reached a point of vulnerability in the group. Everyone...
Missions through Marriage: Where?
Ready to join the team and be a part of missions through marriage? “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? How are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to...
Missions through Marriage: Why?
Clean water, feeding the hungry, putting shoes on children’s feet, holding Vacation Bible School and backyard Bible clubs, sports camps, medical missions, and holding orphans are all amazing ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Can you add to the list? Isn’t being...
Missions Through Marriage: What is It?
We are so excited to get the conversation going on this topic! Let’s start here… Think of all the platforms we use as believers to share the good news of the greatest story ever told. God’s love for us demonstrated through the sinless life, death, burial, and...
Are you in Rebellion?
“Arise, awake, or be forever fall’n” Paradise Lost This blog speaks to those who feel they are at a crossroads in their marriage and need to make a choice to either turn back toward their spouse or continue drifting further away because they feel there is no hope....
Can We Be Real?
Many couples do a great job masking the dysfunction that exists at home. What seems to those on the outside as a match made in heaven is really a home filled with resentment, disappointment and regret with seemingly no way out. If we are on social media, we’ve seen...
Don’t Wait to Seek Help
“Nobody understands what we’re going through!”“I had no idea being married would be this hard!”“I don’t know if things will ever change!” The Stages In the Two Becoming One resource, we talk about the four stages of marital decline: Romance, Reality, Resentment, and...
When Reality Hits
This week we are going to talk about the second stage of marital decline, the stage where most couples live. It’s not bad; it’s just a stage that we find ourselves in day to day, and it is unavoidable. We call it Reality! I think deep down inside, most people know...
The Pursuit of Romance
As we enter the month of February, we would like to walk you through what we call the four main stages of marital decline. We will take each week's blog to break down the stages to help you better understand where your marriage is and to be better equipped to navigate...
Jesus and the Church – The Mystery of Marriage Part 2
By Kyle and Teresa Dillard. 'This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.'Ephesians 5:32 So marriage is God’s design, and the design of marriage is that it is supposed to refer to Christ and the Church. Look again...
Jesus and the Church – Why This Relationship Matters in Marriage!
Written by: Kyle and Teresa Dillard. Every morning Teresa does her bible study before I usually get up. Several years ago I came down stairs as she was having her quiet time and she was sobbing. My first thought was “Oh man, what have I done?” She...
Humility in Marriage
By Josh and Tammy Russ. Humility, such a big pill to swallow. After all, showing humility is a sign of weakness, right? That is what I was taught growing up. Many of you have had this modeled in your lives. Men should never show a moment of weakness... men are strong...
The Mystery of Two Becoming One
Written by Donovan Law. God often chooses interesting moments to reveal the deep mysteries of life. One of those moments happened with a group of Christian brothers in the lobby of a Hospice House. My wife of twenty-four years and mother of two boys was spending her...
What’s the ‘Atmosphere’ in Your Home?
Written by: Roland and Tammy Martinez. How would you describe the atmosphere in your home? Do any of these thoughts come to mind- Loving, peaceful, life-giving, a safe place? What factors influence that atmosphere? Is home a place where your biggest fans can’t wait to...
“Easy Like Sunday Morning”?
Written By: Roland and Tammy Martinez I don't know if any of you have heard recently that we have been lied to about divorce rates in the church...(https://ifstudies.org/blog/regular-church-attenders-marry-more-and-divorce-less-than-their-less-devout-peers) It turns...
Seeing Your Spouse as God’s Gift
Written by: Josh and Tammy Russ. When we think of a gift, we typically think of a special occasion such as a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary. There is a purpose, event, or reason that we think of someone in particular and what kind of gift he/she would like...
The Key to a Great Marriage
Written by: Gio and Suzy Llerena. John 14:26 says, “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.” Starting Out Great When Gio and I (Suzy) were first talking...
Lies That Can Kill Your Marriage
Written by: Josh and Tammy Russ. Lies, in their very nature, have the tendency to destroy whatever is in their path. This includes but isn’t limited to relationships, careers, dreams, goals, parenting, etc. Marriage is no exception, and we hope that by...
How to Keep Your Identity in Marriage
Written by: Josh and Tammy Russ. Tammy and I were married at a fairly young age. I was almost 20. She was already 20 (which remains a little joke we have between us). We were literally just beginning to figure out who we were as individuals and also who we were going...
God’s Three Purposes for Your Marriage
Written by: Chuck and Lorianne Merritt. When asked why we’re marrying, a typical response might be, ‘Because she’s the perfect match for me,’ or, ‘We have so many things in common,’ or, ‘He’s everything I want in a husband.’ There’s no question that God uses our...
Did I Marry the Right Person?
Written by: Stephen and Emeline Bellaire. "Did I Marry the Right Person?" Those were the words I (Stephen) had rushing through my mind like a freight train on New Year’s Day at 12:30 AM. I did not sleep a wink that night. I was in anguish and in total survival mode. I...
We Refuse Divorce BUT We’re Still Stuck
Written by: Gio and Suzy Llerena. It’s hard to believe Suzy and I just celebrated 27 years of marriage! As we’ve looked back at those years, we’ve sat and discussed the good, the bad, and the ugly! We've learnd a lot about what it means to be husband and wife over the...
What’s Your Marriage Based on – Performance or Faith?
Written by: Will and Cindy Goff. Marriage is designed by God and intended to be a life-long commitment between a man and woman. If asked on their wedding day, few brides or grooms would really expect their marriage would be anything less than it was on that first day....
Help! What Can I Do to Save My Marriage?
Written by: Will and Cindy Goff. A ROCKY START We were high school sweethearts who fell in love and married young. After ten years together and two children later we thought we made a mistake. My spouse had changed. We spent less and less time together, and the...
The 4 Stages of Marriage
Written by: Gio and Suzy Llerena. All marriage relationships go through ebbs and flows throughout their time together. We certainly remember those wonderful times when we had no cares in the world. We also remember those times that were difficult, when we didn’t...
Your Marriage Needs Communication!
Written by: Gio and Suzy Llerena. When looking at the structure of a house, the strength of the foundation is vital to support the load of the entire house, and the walls are key to supporting the weight of the roof. The roof is important as it keeps what...
Your Marriage Needs Power!
Written by: Roland and Tammy Martinez. If Tozer’s quote could be true about some local churches, what could be said about our marriages or our homes? Scripture is clear we can quench and grieve the Holy Spirit. The life of a Christ follower should be characterized by...
Selfish-Pride: The Marriage Killer
Written by Special Guest Contributors: Gio and Suzy Llerena. Suzy and I have been married almost 27 years. If we were to try and pinpoint the one area that Satan has used the most to attack our marriage it would have to be selfish- pride. John Maxwell puts it...
My Marriage Needs…?
Written by: Roland and Tammy Martinez. What does your marriage need? Maybe acceptance, security, trust, kindness, peace, a tender touch, a listening ear, or companionship? These all seem like reasonable expectations until we realize our needs differ from our spouse’s...
Christmas is a Time to Celebrate
Christmas is my favorite holiday of the year. The weather is colder, the decorations are beautiful, the food is great, the time off work is a needed rest, and time with family and friends is plentiful. Unless it’s 2020 and then you have lots of ‘zoom’ family time....
Making Plans in Times of Uncertainty
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Cindy Goff. Now what do I do, Lord? I began 2020 like most with New Year’s resolutions and by March the world in which I was accustomed to changed dramatically. All my goals and plans no longer seemed...
Give Thanks…For Your Spouse
During the month of November, it has become a regular practice on social media to post something we are thankful for every day. People post about all types of things from a job, to a city, to a season or type of weather. One year we did a ‘Thanksgiving Tree’ and we...
The Presence of the Spirit brings Peace
Two emotions have dominated our year more than any other – Fear and Anxiety. These emotions have been a 1-2 punch to the gut of millions…if not billions of people dealing with a global pandemic and so much uncertainty. The health of our marriages can be profoundly...
Financial Clarity – Step 4: Put it All Together
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Alan Morgan. In our series on finding financial clarity, we’ve taken three key steps: 1.) The ownership of your written net worth statement (all assets minus all liabilities) has been prayerfully returned to their proper owner –...
Financial Clarity – Step 3: Take Action
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Alan Morgan. It's time to put your money where your mouth is...let's take action! Spending, saving, giving, taxes and debt repayment are the five broad categories needed for your budget review. God actually addresses these 5...
Financial Clarity – Step 2: Share Your List
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Alan Morgan. We're in a series of articles designed to help married couples achieve financial clarity. One of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage is money. If you missed the first two articles then simply head to...
Financial Clarity – Step 1: Write it down
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Alan Morgan. Last week we outlined 4 key steps for navigating financial challenges in marriage. If you missed that article you can check it out here - https://www.christianfamilylife.com/money-problems-marriage-stress/For the next...
Money Problems & Marriage Stress
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Alan Morgan. God can use this time of uncertainty and crisis as an opportunity to expose and bring to light financial struggles with your spouse. Now is the time to press into these issues and experience real freedom and healing....
Joy in Marriage During Tough Times
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Cindy Goff. Recently I've been humming the childhood Sunday school song, “I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart”. All together now, "WHERE?" "Down in my heart!"...you probably know the rest. Now you'll be humming...
What “fruit” are you bearing?
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Cindy Goff. “But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith-fulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.: Galatians 5:22-23 For many years, I had little...
Hope, Where are You?
Written by Special Guest Contributor: Cindy Goff This time of quarantine is difficult for so many. I find myself distant from those I love. My lens appears to have a filter clouding my view. Normal routines and bigger dreams appear to be on hold or...
Has the Coronavirus Quarantine Created Marriage Conflict?
EXPOSED While many marriages and relationships have embraced this time of quarantine for the better, others have realized their marriage isn’t what they thought it was. Or maybe deep-down they knew things weren't that great, but the option to live parallel lives...
Practicing Kindness in Marriage
Kindness is the fifth fruit of the Spirit. Kindness goes along way toward fueling enduring love between spouses. We continue with our look at the expressions of the Fruit of the Spirit in a believer’s life. (Fruit of the Spirit Blog post 5 of 9)Few things can spark...
Developing Patience in Your Marriage
Patience is the fourth fruit of the Spirit. In marriage, when a husband and wife are patient with each other, they will experience peace and be blessed as God continues perfecting their spouse. (Fruit of the Spirit Blog post 4 of 9) On busy days 25,000 people walk the...
Finding Joy in Your Marriage: Two Practices to Develop
As we continue our third of nine posts in the Fruit of the Spirit series, we are focusing on joy. Merriam Webster defines joy to experience great pleasure or delight. Joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is an emotion and is dependent on our circumstances. We...
Three Insights for Loving Your Spouse Well
(Fruit of the Spirit Blog post 2 of 9) We get old and we get used to each other. We think alike. We read each other’s minds. We know what the other wants without asking. Sometimes we irritate each other a little bit. Maybe sometimes we take each other for granted. But...
Finding Peace in Your Marriage
While life can be chaotic, one of the things we often long for is peace, especially in our marriage. Where does that peace come from? How can we foster that peace in our homes? Read on to find out. Fruit of the Spirit–Peace Four young children made life hectic at the...
Did I Marry the Right Person?
Have you or anyone you know ever asked, "Did I marry the right person? How can I know for sure that I did?" We can look at the process that God took Adam through when He created Eve and gather our own conclusions on whether or not we married the right person*. Marry...
How the Marriage Flame Fades
After the early days of romance, the marriage relationship can deteriorate if the couple is unaware of the four reasons the flame fades and the proven methods to develop a sustainable marriage. Spoiler alert: don’t read further if unless you’re interested in...
5 Steps to Resolve Conflict
All marriages at some point or another will have conflict. It's not an "if" there is a conflict; it's "when." These 5 steps to resolve conflict will help your marriage get back on the right track and restore oneness. Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage A recent post on...
3 Requirements of Effective Communication
Effective communication does not come naturally for most couples. It is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of marriage, especially when we allow our selfish desires control our actions. Follow these 3 requirements for healthy communication in your marriage. “We...
3 Ways Sex Enriches Your Marriage
In a Christian marriage, there are three ways sex enriches your relationship: sex creates an exchange of personal knowledge, sex enhances monogamy, and sex encourages deep intimacy. Knowing Each Other If you’ve ever read the King James Version of the Bible, it might...
Sex in Marriage: Ecstasy or Agony?
Is sex in your marriage ecstasy or agony? Marriage is a covenant between husband, wife, and God, and we’re to grow spiritually as a couple to help us keep the romantic ecstasy of sex alive and avoid the agony that leads to a sexless marriage or divorce. Is Your Sex...
What Can You Learn about Marriage from a Bachelor?
Married couples can learn two important lessons from a bachelor who lived a few thousand years ago: avoiding self-focus and bringing glory to Jesus. Can we learn anything from a bachelor who lived in the wilderness 2,000 years ago? It seems implausible that a man who...
Are You Cherishing Your Wife?
By cherishing your wife, desiring your wife and loving her character, you are esteeming the “trophy” God has placed in your life and on the way to building a marriage that will last a lifetime. God’s Amazing Gift Remember as a boy when your trophies decorated the room...
Are You Turning Toward or Away?
Connecting with your spouse is a daily choice that you must make. It is your choice in turning toward your spouse to connect or turning away to disconnect. Strong relationships are built incrementally, daily, as one partner will “bid” for connection and another will...
What is Marriage Oneness?
Oneness in marriage can be an elusive concept, and it is not one that just happens. So what is marriage oneness, and how can you make it happen in your marriage? Oneness and Your Marriage as a Target “There is no subject where error is more dangerous…and discovery...
6 Pieces of Spiritual Armor to Protect Your Marriage
Marriage has a spiritual component to it, so you must put on your spiritual armor to protect your marriage from the common enemy that is trying to destroy it. Gazing into the eyes of your soon-to-be spouse and pledging to a lifetime partnership before family and...
6 Reasons Marriages Fail
Marriages fail for many reasons, but knowing these 6 primary reasons marriages fail will help you avoid some of the pitfalls common to most couples. All relationships, whether romantic or friendly, start with a basic motivation of attraction. This motivation may focus...
The Importance of Friendship in Your Marriage
The importance of developing friendship in your marriage helps make your marriage healthy and sustainable. Over 29 million Americans watched the recent wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The God-honoring ceremony held in St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle...
8 Character Traits for a Great Marriage (Lessons from the Beatitudes)
There are 8 character traits for a great marriage we can learn from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. By Don and Sally Meredith, founders, Christian Family Life “Character is destiny,” proclaimed one Greek philosopher. “The true test of a man’s character,” legendary...
5 Things to Do When Your Spouse Loses a Job
What do you do when your spouse loses a job? Here are 5 things you can do to help the situation when a spouse loses a job. The Bad News when Someone Loses a Job I heard the garage door opening. It was only 5 o’clock. Don certainly was home early. Lately he had been...
Taming The Tongue: Speaking Life or Death in Your Marriage?
The saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." just simply isn't true. Taming the tongue can be difficult, but the tongue has power to speak life or death in your marriage. The Power of the Tongue We must make no mistake about it: our...
God’s Third Purpose for Marriage – Reign Together in Power
One of God's purposes of marriage is for you and your spouse to reign together in the power of the Holy Spirit. You and your spouse are not enemies, but rather you have a common enemy to fight. Note: This is part 3 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 1 and part 2....
God’s Second Purpose for Marriage – Reproduce a Godly Heritage
One of God's purposes of marriage is to reproduce a godly heritage in your children. As Christians, if we have children, we are to mold them to live for Him. Note: This is part 2 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 1 and part 3. Here's a riddle for you: They can be...
God’s First Purpose for Marriage – Reflect
One of God's purposes in marriage is reflect his character and unconditional love. Note: This is part 1 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 2 and part 3 What does the "perfect" marriage look like? Movies suggest it might be sharing breakfast in bed, a walk down a...
The 3rd Reality Check for a Growing Marriage – Enjoy Marriage
Marriage is not easy, but God wants, and even commands, you to enjoy marriage and your spouse. Note: This is part 3 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 1 and part 2. Marriage, though designed by God, is not always easy. There are numerous life circumstances or...
The 2nd Reality Check for a Growing Marriage – Suffering Injustice
When you have been wronged for doing the right thing, it can be easy to retaliate for suffering injustice. Remember that God is the ultimate judge. Note: This is part 2 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 1 and part 3. TV viewers love a story that ends with the bad...
The 1st Reality Check for a Growing Marriage – “The Real World”
When real life hits, what is marriage like after the honeymoon phase wears off? Real life can be a rude awakening to both the amazing and the challenging reality of marriage. Note: This is part 1 of a 3 part series. Click to read part 2 and part 3. If you’re married,...
Facing Trials: Why Me?
We often asking ourselves, "Why me? Why I am the one facing trials right now?" Though it can be challenging, what we really need to ask is, "What are God's purposes for this trial?" Our Need when Facing Trials "Why me? Why now? Will it ever end?" When faced with...
Finding Treasure in Marriage
It is easy to let bitterness and conflict harden our hearts, especially in marriage. Intimacy is hard work and we have to dig for it. Sometimes finding intimacy is like finding buried treasure in marriage. Our Need to be Intimate The Oscar nominated movie About...
Taking Time for Intimacy: eliminating distractions
We living an era of distractions. We must be intentional about taking time for intimacy and eliminating distractions so we can draw closer to our spouse. Why is it that many of us marry our “soul-mate” and after a few years end up with a “room-mate?” One reason is...
The Deceptive 50/50 Relationship: why it doesn’t work
A 50/50 relationship doesn't work in marriage. The deceptive "you do you'll part and I'll do mine" always falls short. Our Need Marriage, many believe, is a “fifty-fifty” relationship. That belief sounds good and seems to make sense. There’s just one problem – it...
Companionship in Marriage: meeting your spouse’s needs
Companionship in marriage is a key element! When you think about needs, do you only think about meeting your own needs or do you put meeting your spouse's needs first? Our Need for Companionship “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18a). Human beings,...
Leaving and Cleaving: cling to your spouse (part 2)
Leaving and cleaving can often be hard for couples. Follow these 3 suggestions to help cling to your spouse. Part 2 of a 2 part series. Click here to read part 1. Our Need It is common in many Christian circles to talk about the fact that we are to ‘leave’ our parents...
Leaving and Cleaving: failing to leave (part 1)
Leaving and cleaving is a fundamental part of a marriage foundation. Find out these four ways that couples often fail to leave and cleave. This is part one in a two part series. Read part 2 here. Our Need to Leave Although in-law jokes are common, most couples fail to...
