As we exchange vows on our wedding day, we make profound promises to each other. These vows encapsulate our commitment and the deep love we share, serving as a foundational blueprint for our marriage. But amidst the excitement and joy, have you ever paused to consider: what are we doing to uphold these promises in our daily lives?
This question points to the importance of setting marital goals—an essential yet often overlooked practice.
Most of us are familiar with the typical wedding vows: understanding the weight behind these vows brings clarity to our daily choices. But awareness alone isn’t enough – intentional action is required.
“___, I now take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honor and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live.”
Let’s break down those promises further:
Love You: An unwavering emotional connection that grows and evolves.
Comfort You: Being each other’s safe haven, offering support during life’s challenges.
Honor You: Recognizing each other’s God-given worth and commit to treating one another with respect.
Keep You: Maintaining fidelity, loyalty, and commitment to one another.
Forsake All Others: Prioritizing your partner above all else.
I’ll Be Yours Alone: A promise of exclusivity and dedication.
And All of This Is Forever:** The commitment to remain united for life.
While our aspirations are lofty, it’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed by what these promises entail. The pressure of doing “everything right” can sometimes overshadow the beauty of our commitment. It’s easy to think about what we’ve done wrong instead of focusing on growth and improvement, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure.
So, who sets marriage goals, and how do we go about it? Surprisingly, we would guess that very few couples take the time to deliberately set goals for their marriage. Many may assume that love and commitment will naturally sustain their relationship over time. However, being intentional in cultivating oneness is critical to a thriving marriage.
It helps to think of marital goals like a mission statement—a brief outline of your marriage’s purpose, goals, and values. When you create a mission statement together, you’re establishing a cohesive vision for your partnership. It can guide you in aligning your lives and fostering a deeper connection.
Consider this three-fold approach: Reflect, Reproduce, and Reign as taught in “Two Becoming One”.
https://www.christianfamilylife.com/product/two-becoming-one-2018/
– Reflect: We together in a covenant relationship are able through our marriage to reflect the unity of the Trinity. As a couple, our relationship is a living example of Christ and the Church.
– Reproduce: Embrace the blessing of family and Grow your family and take on the responsibility as a couple to raise them in the faith.
– Reign: Stand firm in your commitment to prioritize your Biblical values together above any outside distractions.
Let your marital goals be driven by your purpose. What has God called you to achieve together? Setting specific aspirations will help clarify what is genuinely of value to both of you as a couple.
1. Pray Together: Cultivate a spiritual bond by dedicating time each day to pray for each other, your relationship, and your future. Do this out loud with each other as often as possible, but do it every day. This practice deepens your connection and draws you closer to God.
2. Date Nights: Life gets busy, and it’s essential to carve out regular time to reconnect. Schedule weekly or bi-weekly date nights—be it a romantic dinner, a nature walk, or simply cozying up with a movie at home.
3. Work on Budgeting Together: Financial stress can strain even the strongest relationships. Work together to create a budget, making financial goals that align with your shared dreams and values.
4. Set Regular Checkpoints: Establish routine “check-ins” to discuss how you’re both feeling about the relationship, any challenges you’re facing, and how you can better support one another.
A reminder, Marriage is a journey—not a destination. By setting and actively working towards these goals, we ensure that our vows evolve from mere words into the very fabric of our lives together. Let’s commit to making our promises a reality, nurturing our love, and continuously drawing closer as we walk this path together.
Take time this week to adopt one of these goals into your marriage and watch God work!
For more information on this topic check on this podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/christian-family-life/id1581588098?i=1000683316712https://open.spotify.com/episode/6dvlMKlW7lXGq3UPNNOpxc
or this bloghttps://www.christianfamilylife.com/christ-centered-couplegoals/
Christian Family Life is a marriage discipleship ministry. We are here to offer resources and support no matter what condition your marriage is in. Our passion is to Build, Enrich, and Reconcile Marriages.
No matter where you are in your marriage the Two Becoming One resource will improve your marriage.
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