Shelly Foshee
Defining Faith
We can find many definitions for the word faith. The majority of them point us toward loyalty and commitment. Biblical faith takes it a step farther and is thought to be a belief and trust in God based not on total proof or evidence, but on the awareness of God’s goodness. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see”. It also tells us that without faith it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6).
In “Two Becoming One” (2B1), we speak often of faith love and moving from a performance based relationship to a faith based relationship. What does this mean and how do we do that?
How Do We Apply Faith?
As Christians we are known as people of faith. Being a Christian is based on faith and applying it to all areas of our lives. Faith in a God who can perform miracles, make a way where there seems to be no way, has the best plan for my life and will do what He says He will do.
This is the same kind of faith that we need to apply to our marriages. The faith that is confident in God, not our spouse. The faith that is assured that God is a man of His word and will be who He says He is and do the things He has stated He will do. We really could go down a rabbit hole here and list all His promises, asking ourselves if we live our lives like we believe He will complete each of them, but let’s stay focused on our marriage.
Building a marriage based on faith may seem impossible, and in your own strength, you would be correct in thinking that. Not only has God given us instructions, but he has given us the Holy Spirit to guide us. We cannot have the marriage that God intends us to have unless we pursue him and allow ourselves to be guided by the Holy Spirit. The only way that we can move towards faith love is by releasing the Holy Spirit to work in and through us.
Real Faith
You might be different than me, but when I truly looked at my marriage, I realized that for the most part, my husband was getting my left overs. I was on my best behavior with strangers, friends and family that I met throughout my day, but when around my husband within the four walls of my home, he did not get that treatment.
If I was tired, he knew it, if I had a complaint, he heard it, and if I was angry, I did not hide it. Even though I might not even be mad at him, it could have been the result of how someone else had treated me during my day, he was made fully aware of my anger. I was not mindful of my words or actions. I became comfortable and felt like I had license to behave differently once “no one” was looking. But someone was looking…..my husband, my kids and my God.
Through this awareness I began an inward search. Why was I behaving this way to the ones I love the most? The world outside my home, knew that I loved Jesus and was walking with him. The people inside those walls only saw small glimpses of that. This began my journey of applying faith to my marriage. I knew that within my own strength, I could not be at my best all the time. So I asked God to help me. I became accountable to a small group of women that I trusted and that I saw fruits of their faith reflected in the way they lived their lives. I actually became more vulnerable, and humble. This did not happen over night and I am still a work in progress, but I noticed a difference in myself. I could see and feel God working in me.
Faith In Marriage
As Christians, we desire to be more like Christ everyday. His way might not make sense, (Isaiah 55:9) and if I wanted to apply faith to my marriage, I must trust that it worked. That it was what was best for me and my marriage.
Inside all of us, I believe we know what is the right thing, or kind thing to do or say. Do we treat our spouse with this in mind? We are careful with our words around others, are we careful with our words around our spouse? I am not saying that our communication should be the same. I would hope that we are closest to our spouse and that there is a unique intimacy between us. This would allow our communication to look differently than with anyone else. We follow through with random acts of kindness towards others, do we do that with our spouse? I could go on, but you get the gist.
Being in this relationship we call marriage does not give us a license to treat each other in a way we would never imagine treating anyone else. Or maybe it does. If we applied faith to our marriage and realized that through the sovereignty of God we have been given a precious gift by God other than salvation…..our spouse. We might treat each other in a way acknowledging that God has given us each other. A person who can love, serve and support us. Someone we can lock arms with and war against the enemy. Give us a shoulder to cry on through trials and a hand to hold for companionship. God had a purpose when he gave you your spouse. Are you stewarding the gift He gave you? Have you applied faith to this relationship? Do you trust that He will keep His promises concerning you and your marriage?
Faith Challenge
I challenge you to try His way and apply faith principles within your marriage relationship. Look to Him for direction and guidance. Make decisions concerning your marriage based upon the knowledge you have of God’s goodness. See what He can do!!
